Some of you may have read my blog about my little Elaisha’s special condition which is Autism. And I’ve been vocal about it ever since even if I am not writing my blogs yet. The reason of me, being vocal about Elaisha’s condition is I want other people to know that these kind of condition exist and not all disability is visible by the naked eye. At the age of 1/2 we know that Elaisha is different from the typical growing kids whose developments are aligned with their actual age.
Elaisha on being different
Elaisha’s speech development is way, way behind from kids same as her age which gives her difficulties in communicating and expressing her feelings. Answering the Yes or No question is still a challenge until today. Eating independently was be so tough for me and for her because of the spillage that I need to clean up, good thing there was an improvement after few years. Elaisha most of the time experience sensory overload whenever she hears grinding sound that cause her meltdowns or whenever she see a different pattern on the ground/floor like pebbles or gravel stones and it means that I need to carry her until she can’t see these things anymore. Meltdowns are involuntary reaction of kids with Autism to overwhelming situations that is being associated with tantrums by other people most of the time. (I wrote about meltdown in this blog post https://pieceofkeyk.com/my-child-has-autism-i-am-sorry/ )
These are just some of Elaisha’s gestures on why she is a bit different from other kids, “being different” to other kids of her age can be tough for her to cope up independently with world.
One of the previous therapist of Elaisha asked me a question that talks about Negative Eugenics (it’s the practice of selecting undesirable traits that focus on preventing the Unfit from reproducing against their will) , and the question was, “Given a chance that before giving birth, I already know that Elaisha will be different from other kids and will have a difficulty in coping up with the world, would I choose to let her go before she was born? (The ” A ” word is very difficult for me to say or even write )
And my answer, is a Big NO. I know that this topic is very sensitive but my answer is based on my own perspective. Kids with special needs didn’t choose their parents or even their condition. Why are we going to take the chance for them to feel love regardless of what their condition is. And we as parents, that is our role… We have to love them, unconditionally no matter what they are.
Difficult but not a Burden
Having a child with special need is very difficult to the parents and even to the child as well. Difficult in the sense that kids like Elaisha are often bullied and misunderstood while the parents are being judged that they are raising spoiled brats because of the day by day crying cause of meltdown. The school expenses and therapies are so expensive and difficult to maintain. But regardless how difficult it is, as a parent of a child with special needs, I learned how to always look at the brighter side and always try to see what’s good in every situation.
Having a child with special need is very difficult to the parents and even to the child as well. Difficult in the sense that kids like Elaisha are often bullied and misunderstood while the parents are being judged that they are raising spoiled brats because of the day by day crying cause of meltdown. The school expenses and therapies are so expensive and difficult to maintain. But regardless how difficult it is, as a parent of a child with special needs, I learned how to always look at the brighter side and always try to see what’s good in every situation.
Elaisha may not be able to talk or communicate well to others, but she has her own language of love. She’s very clingy, she loves cuddling, she knows how to share with friends, and regardless how you show her that you are angry about something that she did, she will still let you feel her love and affection. She can definitely make me smile in some unusual things that she do like beat boxing.
She may not be able to answer the Yes or No questions but she can draw using any kind of medium. And most of all, kids like Elaisha has a pure heart and honest.
Its really difficult, but I wouldn’t see Elaisha as a burden. And just what I’ve always said Elaisha is special, and I will not change her for the world, in fact I will change the world for her.
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